Hello! I’ve decided to start blogging about my experience to hopefully help one other person out there suffering with bipolar 1, PTSD, anxiety or depression.
My blog name is Bipolar Lili, so feel free to call me Lili! It’s my Chinese name and maybe one day I’ll share that story.
Here is a glimpse into my story:
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder in February of 2016. I was then diagnosed bipolar 1 in May 2016 after a 3rd suicide attempt for the year. I was placed on a medication routine that didn’t work for me. It was finally fixed after a few more trials and errors during a hospitalization in November 2016.
I was self-medicating with drugs. Primarily beer and methanphetamines. I later learned they were negatively impacting the ability of my psychiatric medications to work which was counter productive, so it was no wonder I was spiriling out of control.
I was finally placed into a drug treatment program in February 2017. It was a 28-day program and something clicked for me. I’ve been free from all mind altering substances since going through that program. I’ve become a regular participant in the Narcotics Anonymous program and completed a 90-day outpatient Substance Abuse Intensive Outpatient program as well.
My mind has been thirsty for knowledge. I want to beat the disease of addiction and I feel I’m winning that battle now. Now my focus is on learning how to control my bipolar and anxiety disorders. I’m a big fan of living organically and feel I’m not being true to myself every time I pop a pill to control my emotions. I miss having a full range of emotions. I want to learn how to cope and deal with them. Besides, what’s wrong with being a little “crazy”?