My Life: Trusting the Universe’s Timing

I have been “tested” in this area so many times, I really don’t even need to give it a label – it’s a lifestyle. When I start to notice certain things in my life are way beyond my control or appear to be impossible to complete/accomplish with human capabilities; I know it is time to stop trying. When I say this, I don’t mean to imply I give up, because I never give up. I have to take a step back from my ego and admit that (whatever it is I have going on in my life) I cannot do it on my own.

For a person that feels a since of self worth by doing everything on their own, when I admit I need help and cannot do something, it is pretty humbling. However, I know it is such a relief when I do. It immediately releases an invisible burden and frees a part of me that I did not realize was under so much pressure to perform. When I allow myself to step back, I can see things clearer. The fog my mind creates gives me time to trust the timing of the Universe. I can be quiet.

Today, for example, started out as scheduled. My sweet Irie wiggled into my room with her sweet kisses & silly smile to start off my morning. Then, after their morning routine I did some family business, but then felt myself feeling rushed. I had a dental appointment I was running late for, so I sent them a text to give them a heads up I would be late. I hate showing up late, but I have to tell myself to stick that concern in the “things beyond my control” column of my mind for the moment and just move on.

At the dentist they were very busy, so I made the best of it. An HGTV episode I hadn’t seen was on, so I sat back and relaxed. I finally had a chance to look through my phone and giggle with my mom via text. I noticed a CNN news reporting legend had passed away at the age of 82, Bernard Shaw. Wow, what an amazing career and full life he had. That was a wonderful reminder that the Universe never makes mistakes, he had an accomplished life and left it a better place. It was a perfect time for him to transition back into energy and live on forever in history.

I had been sitting alone for quite some time I almost forgot what I was waiting for… then a lady came around the corner and stuck some numbing agent in my mouth, which really confused me. I thought I was just having a chipped piece of sealant(?) fixed. I asked if I had to get a shot in my mouth or drilled today and she quickly explained something about resurfacing the tooth to have the proper bonding of materials. Oh geesh, I haven’t been through any of this before, so I was really not prepared for that. My heart rate immediately shot up. At least I had some time to recenter and adjust to the surprise-you-are-getting-your-mouth-totally-demolished-and-built-back-up-today shock of news while I waited for the next phase of actually getting a ginormous needle stuck in my gums.

So, while I stared at HGTV, I focused on my breath. I reminded myself it was obviously too late to make up an excuse to reschedule, so I might as well accept my tooth can only be fixed by the dentist & I have to let her do her job. When I pretended to relax, eventually I became more relaxed and thankfully my dentist is fast and efficient, so everything was better than I anticipated. She didn’t have to do any long or crazy drilling and recoating the tooth went by quickly. I was so grateful for the pleasant experience. I don’t know if other people realize the anxiety and frustration that can accompany having to do things that are unfamiliar, especially on your own.

My “Oh no what have I done” face…

I was also a bit on edge because as I was waiting for the dentist I saw a troubling headline concerning Prince William and Harry rushing to be by their Queen’s bedside. I had a feeling she was dead or dying. Soon after I left the dentist, the news of Queen Elizabeth II’s death was announced and my heart sank. I knew something was going on! Today was all a little too peculiar. She had the most amazing reign and though she may not have strongly confronted racism/colonization/change, she kept a legacy of dignity and loyalty that was extremely admirable. She left us at a time that her country is most able to cope without her. After 70 years of dedicated service to her country, she has well earned her rest. We all must trust the timing of the Universe on this one as we enter 10 days of mourning and usher in the era of King Charles III.

When I returned home I initially had all these plans for the day, but I just didn’t feel like doing them. I wasn’t sure where half my body was after all… The numbing stuff seemed extremely strong this time, my chest felt really heavy, my foot & hand was tingling… I wasn’t quite sure where half my mouth, nose or eye was. It was creepy strange, but thankfully not super swollen like last time. All the weirdness combined with forgetting to eat breakfast made me feel faintly and whiny and I really just wanted to eat & relax. I was extremely grateful when my mom let me order Chinese food and it arrived super fast. If I hadn’t listened to my gut (trusted the Universe) and asked who knows what would have happened. I most likely would have stood up too long staring in the cupboard, ended up eating only a cupcake (cause I didn’t feel like cooking) and windup with a migraine for the next two days or so.

Every day Irie serves as a living example of how to trust in the Universe. She just knows any of her needs will be supplied and they will always come to her on time; not before or after, but right when she needs them. I am her agent for the Universe almost always, because if the right time has come I get “the look”. Like, today I didn’t realize the time was so late because our morning routine had changed; but not for Irie! It was past 5:30pm and she needed her red Kong with her remaining breakfast kibble for her early evening pre-nap play-silly time. She amazes me. Her internal clock is either impeccable or her dead sister’s soul (Shayna) is telling her and they conspire to freak me out just for giggles. They were the best of friends and have very similar eating habits too, so who knows! Irie is the comic relief of my day that’s for sure. She somehow learned as a baby how to unscrew the lid off the kong and just eat out of it. I really find it hilarious she still wants this special toy every day. I am just grateful for her daily reminders to let go and trust the Universe, plus the joy she brings.

Irie has complete faith everything will work out for her when it’s supposed to & always on time!